this time you get more than you paid for.

Hello Friends. Today is Wednesday. A great day. A great, glorious, fantastical day. At this point you might be asking yourself…. ‘why walt? what makes today so special?’

Today I am going to tell you of a tale…a tale of one man…a journey…a legend…

Let me prepare you….This entry is much better than any favorite aunt…breathing…and far better than any random thought you silly clowns come up with on your own. Let me pave the way with my brilliance.

Here you won’t find any heartwarming news about friends and family. Cool links or pictures. Important news or sweet internet video game cheat codes. Today, I decided to use my blog for what it was first intended for… a random rant. That’s right kids, that’s why today is so special.

This epic begins at Old Towne Drive in Nashville, TN. After a weekend filled with Memphis, The Peabody, Ducks Marching Down Red Carpets, Rooftops, Graceland, Elvis, Airplanes, Automobiles, Beale Street, B.B Kings, Maggie Moo’s, Parents, Aidens, Ash and Jamin, Weddings, Etc. Etc. But you’ve already heard of all of these episodes in Cristin’s blog. So let me take you back. Back to the beginning of this very paragraph,

This epic begins at Old Towne Drive in Nashville, TN. You see this is where my Princess lives. Cristin Gunnells. The love of this knights heart. Having a test to return back to yesterday by 6:00 p.m., I had to leave her and return to Faulkner University, in my hometown…monkey town…Montgomery, Alabama.

So I mounted my dragon, cut on some Blink182, and onto 65 south I went. I left Nashville with a quarter of a tank of gas, trying to stretch my every penny, as it gets expensive traveling back and fourth on the weekends. Using my friend, mapquest, I am able to show a photo of some sweet, very lame graphics. I was able to take an overhead shot of my travels.















Now at the beginning of this blog I made a promise to you that I would show you the way using my brilliance. It was in Cullman where I decided I would try to make it and fill up with gas, and it was there on a stretch in the middle of no where, where my Black Maxima with Burnt Orange Insides would slowly shut off due to the empty tank of gas. That’s right…it’s Brilliance. I slowly and safely veered off to the side of the interstate in cullman, and sat miles from the next exit.

I sat there for no more than 3 min. screaming, wishing I had taken heed to my girlfriends warnings of filling up, when I noticed that I had T minus 3 1/2 hours before the clock strikes 6 and the tests are passed out. So I got out of my car, locked my doors, and I started my hike. As 18 wheelers, cars, vans, and otis spunkmire vehicles sped past me, I decided I would call a few people on my cell phone to pass the time. That’s when I saw I had only 1 bar of battery power left. Yup, I’m screwed. I needed that last bit of battery juice incase things took an even more horrible turn for the worst.

I walked about 1 ½ miles when a state trooper pulled over to my rescue. He gave a chuckle when I explained what I was doing on the side of 65 and he told me to hop in the back. So I jumped in and he drove me 2 more miles to the next gas station. On the way, I sat there feeling guilty…feeling guilty for the ways of my past. Case and point, my first encounter with the law. The time we were on a soccer trip with a bunch of other players and their family’s, and I went across the street and prank called 911 – only 30 min later to have 2 officers show up at my hotel room and give me a talk about why we don’t prank call those who help you. Or the time I got pulled over and talked to for shining a laser pointer in a cops eye driving down the road beside me. That officer explained to me how I would get myself shot. Or that one time I got in trouble for driving recklessly back in Birmingham behind winn dixie trying to go rat hunting…for all those times back in high school I’ve been unlawfully searched…or the time I got caught dropping eggs off an overpass nailing the cars passing below on the interstate....etc….etc…

As we pulled up to the cheveron…next to a family on a roadtrip, out stretching their legs, I wondered why they were staring at me. As the cop got out of his side of the car and walked around to let me out…the dad pulled his 3 year old daughter a little closer to him.

The rest of this story is just for me. It includes an old lady over charging me for my gas can by 7 bucks, slicing my thumb open so that it is gushing blood, having the wind blow gas all over my left leg and the side of my car, then getting my open wounded thumb soaked in the gas, and having the closest thing to a migraine I’ve ever had.

The children’s book would be called, Thomas Malone and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. It would probably only be sold in paperback.

Let this all be a lesson for you, when the little lever hits the ‘E’ it stands for the word ‘empty’ for a reason. so fill up. I guess everyone has to run out of gas at least once in their life huh?